Everything you wanted to know about
sex surrogates and didn't know to ask.
What is it?
Sexual surrogate partners like Miles are real. The practice got its start back in the 70s, thanks to Masters and Johnson. Sexual surrogates or sexual partner therapists are women and men trained to help people work through sexual issues like early ejaculation, body image, shyness, and sexual, emotional and physical abuse.
Do they actually have sex with clients?
Sometimes. The practice follows a triadic model of client, talk therapist, and a surrogate partner who does, indeed, get physical with the client, from touching to intercourse.
How long do they work with clients?
While talk therapy can go on indefinitely, sexual surrogates generally work with clients from four to six months.
How do people find a surrogate?
Generally a client’s therapist or sexual therapist will recommend a surrogate.
How many are there?
The organization that Miles belongs to, IPSA, has approximately 20 certified sex surrogate partners throughout the U.S. and there are many surrogates not in IPSA who work through sex therapists. You can find an IPSA therapist in Arizona, California, Florida, Georgia, New Mexico, New York, Pennsylvania, Texas, and Virginia. If you happen to be traveling in Europe, there is one in Amsterdam.
How many people go to sex surrogates?
Like talk therapy, it’s confidential so nobody knows for sure how many people seek the help of sex surrogates but we do know that in the last five years, more women are seeking the service.
How much does it cost?
About the same as a good therapist but it varies. An average course of 30 hours can vary from $3,000 to $5,000.
It sounds like prostitution. Is it legal?
Although unregulated, it’s legal. California's state attorney general says, "If it's between consensual adults and referred by licensed therapists and doesn't involve minors, then it's not illegal."
There you have it. Read the excerpt.
More sex for thought.
Check out this take on sex in modern marriage that recently ran in the New York Times.