What writing can feel like.
Books that changed me.
+ The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett but I can't find my copy.
I grew these.
They are big now.
I grew this, too.
If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need. --Marcus Tullius Cicero
Hobbies: Staring at cats.
Those eyes say 'put down the laptop and come pet me.'
I wanted to be a ballerina.
My hips killed that dream. Thank you, hips. It's a hard, short career.
Backup career: artist.
Never an accountant or software engineer.
Don't call. Please write.
I have never liked talking on the phone. Writing is my preferred form of communication.
My new novel, waiting to find a home.
A Totally Normal Family
Sex, drugs, marriage, the suburbs: What could go wrong?
On the surface, the Matterns — June and Miles and their adult children — appear to be a successful Silicon Valley family. June is a seeker and has tried to find happiness with Buddha, Whole Foods, and currently is giving the Catholic Church a go. Her husband, Miles, is a successful sexual partner therapist, something the family likes to keep on a need-to-know basis.
Their married son Kyle is a successful venture capitalist with his own sexual proclivities involving his piano teacher, and their daughter Shanti manages the futility of her advertising career with the help of Chanel and pain pills. Their façade of normalcy blows apart when the book Miles has written about sexual surrogacy ends up on the cover of People magazine.
Praise for A Totally Normal Family.
“Eileen Bordy’s knock-out debut novel offers us a riot of characters: dear dad who works as a sex surrogate, mom the perennial searcher, the rich son who sneaks off to have piano sex, and the beautiful daughter who’s looped on drugs and cynicism. Bordy skewers everything we know about Silicon Valley success and the sanctity of marriage. But it’s her humor and heart that pulls us in from first page to last.”
- Ellen Sussman, New York Times-bestselling author of the novels French Lessons,
The Paradise Guest House, and A Wedding in Provence.
“Like the best social novels, A Totally Normal Family is both critical and compassionate in its depiction of people caught up in a self-centered culture. Bordy’s characters are so wonderfully flawed and human, I felt very much at home with them. This is a hilarious and moving story of our times.”
- Gordon Jack, author of The Boomerang Effect
“In the twenty years that I've known Eileen Bordy as a writer, I've grown to consistently love her work. She's one of the funniest, smartest writers out there. With this novel, she approaches the ridiculousness of marriage, family, addiction, and Silicon Valley with humor and insight.
- Lolly Winston, author of the New York Times-bestselling novels Good Grief and Happiness Sold Separately.
He plays a sensitive, accomplished assassin who's never changed a diaper.
Want, Have, Need
The Monarch Review
Things heard and not seen
Oxford Magazine, Page 43/44 Issu
(Glimmer Train, Honorable Mention)
Two Couples on Coke
Pas de Deux
Green Hills Literary Lantern
About the author.
The first serious writing practice I had was pen pal to Tracie in Hayes, Bromley, Kent, England. I was eight. My first paid gig was after college writing for a recruitment ad agency. “The help wanted ads in back of the newspaper?” my father asked. From there I graduated to clothing tags at The Gap and then ad agencies in Silicon Valley where I learned how to virtually test an integrated circuit, witnessed the birth of the Internet, and helped GM and the White House launch their first websites. I have published many personal essays and short stories.
A Totally Normal Family is my first novel.