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My new novel, waiting to find a home.

A Totally Normal Family

Sex, drugs, marriage, the suburbs: What could go wrong?

On the surface, the Matterns — June and Miles and their adult children — appear to be a successful Silicon Valley family. June, the matriarch, has explored many spiritual practices and is currently Catholic but also a devotee of Whole Foods. Her husband Miles recently retired from software engineering to pursue his love of sex as a surrogate.*

Their married son Kyle is a successful venture capitalist with his own sexual proclivities involving his piano teacher, and their daughter Shanti manages the futility of her advertising career with the help of Chanel and pain pills. Their façade of normalcy blows apart when the book Miles has written about sexual surrogacy ends up on the cover of People magazine. 

Praise for A Totally Normal Family.

“Eileen Bordy’s knock-out debut novel offers us a riot of characters: dear dad who works as a sex surrogate on the side, mom the perennial searcher, the rich son who sneaks off to have piano sex, and the beautiful daughter who’s looped on drugs and cynicism. Bordy skewers everything we know about Silicon Valley success and the sanctity of marriage. But it’s her humor and heart that pulls us in from first page to last.”

    - Ellen Sussman, New York Times-bestselling author of the novels French Lessons,

         The Paradise Guest House, and A Wedding in Provence.

“Like the best social novels, A Totally Normal Family is both critical and compassionate in its depiction of people caught up in a self-centered culture. Bordy’s characters are so wonderfully flawed and human, I felt very much at home with them. This is a hilarious and moving story of our times.”

    - Gordon Jack, author of The Boomerang Effect

“In the twenty years that I've known Eileen Bordy as a writer, I've grown to consistently love her work. She's one of the funniest, smartest writers out there. With this novel, she approaches the ridiculousness of marriage, family, addiction, and Silicon Valley with humor and insight.

    - Lolly Winston, author of the New York Times-bestselling novels Good Grief and Happiness Sold Separately.


More writing.

He plays a sensitive, accomplished assassin who's never changed a diaper.

Things heard not seen
(Glimmer Train, Honorable Mention)
On Issu - page 43/44

About the author.

The first serious writing practice I had was pen pal to Tracie in Hayes, Bromley, Kent, England. I was eight. My first paid gig was after college writing for a recruitment ad agency. “The help wanted ads in back of the newspaper?” my father asked. From there I graduated to clothing tags at The Gap and then ad agencies in Silicon Valley where I learned how to virtually test an integrated circuit, witnessed the birth of the Internet, and helped GM and the White House launch their first websites. I have published many personal essays and short stories.

A Totally Normal Family is my second novel.

The world wasn't ready for my first.


Contact me.

Or contact my agent.

I'm represented by the fabulous Linda Chester of

Linda Chester Literary Agency.


eileen bordy 2017